The Tale of Kansas' Crazy Owner

I hesitated to share this story. I try to be a positive and encouraging horse trainer. I run into my fair share of crazies in the horse world. Usually, I let them roll off my back and move on. In general, I try not to trash talk people online, and especially not on a public blog. Just because I disagree with someone, doesn't mean they are wrong. There is more than one way to skin a cat (or, train a horse for that matter).  Once in a while, however, I run into one that's too good not to share. Here is the tale of 2016 Numb-nut Award  Winner.

Introducing: Kansas

I have a few new clients to introduce still. One of them is just over the border in Pennsylvania. She is thinking of moving her horse to the barn Gunner is at, and when she came to check out the facilities, Skye's owner recommended me to her.

She called me and the first words out of her mouth were, "So are you actually a horse trainer?"

I had to laugh, and told her that yes, it's what I do full time.

"Well, you know, some girls just know a lot about horses, but aren't trainers."

It was a strange start to the conversation. Other tidbits from the conversation included, "Sometimes Kansas tosses his head under saddle. Do you think you can handle that?"
As I watched a horse in the background trying to tear a barn down, I calmly replied, "Yes, I think I can handle some head tossing."

Things got a little convoluted before the evaluation. The best way I can tell the story is chronologically.

The new horse is a seven year old AQHA gelding named Kansas. Actually, he is KSU White Hot Chip. He was born at Kansas State University, where he was part of the ag program. He got a lot of handling as a youngster, and I even found his baby photos and video.

From there, Kansas ended up at a show stable in Pennsylvania. With his western pleasure breeding, he sort of flunked out as a show horse. However, he was super safe and they were using him in their summer camp program as a four year old! 

He was listed for sale. 

That's when his current owner picked him up. She is an older woman with very little riding experience. This is her first horse, and she really went into horse ownership blind. Nobody told her it wasn't a good idea for a first time horse owner to get a young horse.

Kansas's owner is on a budget and her goal is to trail ride, so she ended up at one of those rent-a-horse trail riding stables. The place backs up to a state park, and it has a pretty gnarly reputation.

Here are some of the stories I've heard through the grapevine:

• I noticed the barn had changed names a few times over the years. I found out it's under the same management it always has been, but every time they get sued, they change the barn name.
• The owner is an old mobster who once killed a man in a bar fight, but didn't go to jail.
• Someone once called the SPCA about the condition of a horse. When the ACO went out to the barn, the BO asked if there was a specific horse that the complaint listed. The ACO replied with the horse's name. So the BO walked out in the field and shot the horse right there on the spot. Then he turned and asked, "Do you have any other horses whose condition you are concerned about?
• The BO was sleeping with another man's wife. One night, while the BO was grilling on his deck, the other guy came by looking for him. When he said, "Yes, I'm the BO," the other guy pulled out a gun and shot him FIVE TIMES. After being shot, the BO ran down the stairs and beat the other guy nearly to death with his bare hands. After that, the BO stumbled across the street to his former business partner's place and asked, "Can you call an ambulance? I'm not feeling so hot." He went into surgery where they recovered four bullets. The fifth was a through and through. Several weeks later, when they went to court. The BO walked in under his own power. The other guy was still in a wheelchair. 

Thankfully, the BO is getting up there in age and has mellowed somewhat in the last several years. Still, it's the type of barn that really attracts low lives and bad horsemanship. 

The day I went for my evaluation, I almost didn't get out of the car. I understand that these rent-a-horse facilities only make money because they do trail rides by volume and cut down on horse keeping costs. I understand that most of these horses probably come from the auction and would probably be dead if they hadn't been selected for the trail riding string. I will also say that the horses at this particular farm are almost all at a good weight and they do get their feet done regularly, even though the shoeing jobs don't come anywhere near meeting my standard of care. I really try to be open minded and not give my opinion where it's not being asked.

However, I was still pretty appalled.

For starters, there are probably fifty horses in one paddock together. The farm is not huge. These are not large, rolling pastures. At this point, they are basically dirt lots. I will say that each paddock has multiple round bales and multiple water troughs. Of course, the paddocks are fenced with uncapped t-posts and straight wire (though I do believe it's at least electrified). Their idea of manure management is to take a front end loader and shove all the manure into a big pile in the middle of the paddock.

While I was sitting in my car, parked between an old rusted out stock trailer, a jet ski, and two boats, I watched a small pinto pony climb up the manure pile, lie down, and roll down the side of the manure like a little kid on a grassy hill. No, no, no, no, no...

I almost didn't get out of the car. Between the strange conversation and the "facilities", I really wasn't thrilled with what I appeared to be walking into. Still, I had driven all the way there, and I do try to be a professional. 

When I did finally go in the barn, I was met by a very nice little bay horse who was standing quietly on the cross ties. His owner also appeared to be very sweet, and she was delighted to have me out. 

I liked Kansas right away. His ground  manners were impeccable. He stood, half asleep, on the cross ties. He picked up his feet, stood quietly for saddling, opened his mouth for the bit, and let me touch him all over. 

His owner started to tell me all these horror stories. All the people at the barn were telling her that Kansas is dangerous. She should sell him, give him away, put him down (!) 

Sadly, she told me, "There isn't a single person here who thinks he is a nice horse."

I glanced at the sleepy young quarter horse in the barn aisle and asked, "What on earth are they talking about?"

Apparently, Kansas has 'bronco bucked' on two occasions. Apparently, he "tests everyone". Apparently he "can't trail ride". 

Ok then...

The only criticism I had of the horse so far is that he toes in pretty badly in the front.

We took Kansas down to the outdoor ring, which is thankfully at the very back of the property and out of ear shot . 

I ran him through my basic evaluation on the ground. He bent softly at the slightest rein pressure. He yielded his hindquarters with merely a cluck. I even had him moving his shoulder around in no time flat. 

I threw a leg over. I will admit he walked two steps away from the mounting block on the first attempt, but it took less than a minute to correct that behavior. We walked away from the mounting block and my only complaint was that Kansas is super pokey. I would probably die of boredom if he was my horse, but for an elderly beginner rider, he was perfect. 

I asked him to jog and he picked up the dinkiest trot of all. Good western pleasure horse.

I looked over my shoulder and asked, "When is the  last time anybody cantered him?"

"Probably three years ago at the last barn."

I kissed. Kansas flicked his ears. I kissed, added a touch of leg, and said, "Can-TER." 

Off we went on a loose rein, loping quietly around the arena at like two miles per hour.

I halted Kansas from the canter and turned to his owner. "There is nothing wrong with this horse."

I had her ride him and she did fine at the walk, and was afraid to go any fast. That's fine. 

I got back on board and rode him down the trail behind the farm. We didn't go very far, but the seven year old horse had no problem leaving the property and venturing into the woods solo.

It took some questioning on my part, but I got to the bottom of his bronco bucking episodes. On both occasions, he was ridden by inexperienced trail guides in horrible shanked bits. On the last occasion, the girl riding him jerked his face up when he tried to grab a bite of grass. Poor Kansas, who normally goes in a plain snaffle, dumped her (though I doubt there was any actual bronco bucking involved). In the process of falling off, she grabbed him in the mouth again. Then she proceeded to get up and shank the hell out of him as punishment. The horse, who was getting his face ripped off, apparently reared and 'struck out'. 

...

I asked the owner how she feels about Kansas.

"I love him," she told me with tears welling in her eyes. "I can't imagine ever loving another animal this much."

"Then stop listening to what other people say, and stop letting them use your horse. There is nothing wrong with Kansas. He is a very good boy with a level head. He is perfect for what you want to do. If I took a horse like this, I'd list him for $5k tomorrow and I'd have no problem getting it! You would be hard pressed to get another horse this good."

Apparently she has ridden him along the front of the property and he doesn't even spook when dump trucks go by. 

When we got back to the barn yard, I dismounted, and loudly praised Kansas while people stared. "What a nice horse this is! You are soooooo lucky to have him. What a good boy!"

I explained to his owner that it's a simple lack of communication that keeps her from accomplishing more with her horse.

"So I'm the problem," she said sadly.

"You can't look at it that way! Horses speak a different language than we do. How are you supposed to magically know how to speak horse? And shame on all of these people here who are so quick to shoot you down, but won't do anything to help you! I think that's terrible. They can either try to help you and decide that you are a lost cause and dislike you, or they can refuse to help you and stay out of your business. They don't get to ignore you and then taunt you about your lack of knowledge! What a load of BS!"

I was fuming.

I am trying to get Kansas's owner to move him to the barn Gunner is at. The people there would welcome her with open arms. She would still have a ring and trails to ride on, and she'd have other people to guide her. The horse would be getting a serious upgrade, and there's only a $20 difference in board. I honestly don't know why she stays at the barn she's at now.

For our second lesson, I rode Kansas from the barn, straight onto the trails. He did try to stop to graze a few times, and he balked a little bit at a particularly rutted section of down hill trail. Still, with a little guidance from me, he marched forward and did just fine. 

Apparently, one of the workers at the barn told Kansas's owner that Kansas is fine as long as he gets he way. He's only 'dangerous' if you try to make him do something he doesn't want to do.

I sighed heavily.

Then I let Kansas start grazing. "What does Kansas want to do right now?" I asked.

"He wants to eat grass."

"Ok, now I'm going to ask him not to eat grass." I tugged lightly on a rein. Kansas kept grazing. "He says he would prefer to keep eating, right?"

"Right."

"Now I'm going to make him stop eating." I pulled one rein in earnest and added leg. Kansas reluctantly walked off. "Is he getting his way right now?"

"No."

"Is he being dangerous because he didn't get his way?"

"Not my definition of dangerous!"

"Guess what... your definition is the only one that matters! Stop letting people trash talk your horse."

The funny thing is that the second a professional (me) walks in the barn and says nice things about the horse, everyone suddenly has all these compliments about him. I guess they don't want to look foolish. Ugh!

The main culprit, a middle-aged slob of a man, is clearly talking smack about the horse to make himself feel powerful. When I told Kansas's owner that I'm guessing he doesn't have much going for him in his life outside of the barn, she concurred. I told her that people like that make themselves feel good by picking on other people.

As we were having the conversation, a woman walked by us on trail, leading a half-dead looking pony with a little girl on board in flip flops and a bicycle helmet. Two more ponies followed obediently behind with two more small, unbalanced looking riders. 

"Why can those kids ride these horses but I can't?" Kansas's owner asked."They are not actually riding or steering those horses. The woman who is walking the one in the front is controlling all three. They're playing follow the leader out of habit. If I put Kansas on a lead rope, I could give you a pony ride too. You don't want your horse to be one of these brain-dead robots. You want him to be your pet and your partner. There's a difference between a horse who is well trained (what  you want) and a horse who is broke to death like the horses here."

I feel so bad for Kansas's owner. She just doesn't know any better (she didn't even know what thrush was!) and nobody will help her. I want to know what the benefit of bullying a little old lady is. Congrats, you made a grandma cry! Ugh. I really hope she moves the horse. 

At the end of one of our lessons, she told me, "Dom, I am very religious. I have been praying for an answer on this for so long." She started to cry. "I didn't know if I should pray for a new horse, or a new barn, or a trainer, but I prayed every day for a sign. I think you are God's answer to my prayer." And then she hugged me. I am not religious in any way, but man did that one get me! (As Satan laughs in the background.)

Last week, Kansas's owner went down to the shore for a two week vacation. She asked me to come ride Kansas while she was away so that I could get a real feeling for him on the trail. Her ultimate goal for this summer is to ride him to the covered bridge by herself. It's a very reasonable goal and the covered bridge is only about a quarter mile from the barn. 

I went to ride in the evening, on my way to my lesson with Wink. I was relieved to find that the barn was basically deserted. I retrieved a surprised Kansas from his paddock, and tacked him quickly and quietly in the barn. I swung a leg over in the barn yard and rode down the lane between the paddocks to the trail. We went down the big hill and I guessed that the correct way to go was right. Not long after, I spotted the covered bridge ahead. We rode to the bridge and I debated riding into the river. I've seen photos of the horses crossing, but it looked deep and I don't know the terrain. I have since looked at a map and know the correct way to go. 

Rather than retrace our steps, I took a trail to the right that was marked with a horseback riding symbol. We made our way up a surprisingly steep and technical hill. Kansas didn't have the fitness to do it at more than a walk, but he went willingly forward, carefully picking each step. We crossed some pretty big logs and found the main trail again. I had trotted him most of the ride and had made good time, so when we got back to the farm, I finished up by cantering him around the arena a handful of times.

The horse didn't put a foot wrong the entire time. He probably hasn't been on a real trail ride in a year and he went out alone while all the other horses were eating. No problems. He is such a good boy.

I told his owner all of this and she was really excited. 

I know that change is scary, but I really hope she moves Kansas to Gunner's barn. He would be happier and she would have people to help build her up instead of tearing her down. The horse doesn't need any work right now. She just needs to learn how to ride him so she can enjoy him. Despite my initial bad feeling about the whole situation, I'm hoping to make a difference in this woman's life. It sounds like she's due for some good luck.